Something within me broke, when I was shown an astral incident. Some people I had known in past lives, who I admittedly admired to the core…where not what they pretended to be. Neither was I what they might have thought I was. Then our worlds shattered, there was war, and finally all hope ended. Our worlds literally ended, and today many people keep going, chasing dreams and power. I am learning in greater depth about human motivation to seek hopes, dreams and power. Some people can have all that they want, and they might be happy, others might have it all and not value it.
Before the great quarantine, I did feel like I saw a brief dream that felt good enough come to an unexpected end. The more time alone I was forced to spend, I went deeper and deeper and saw that such dream served as a temporary remedy or a balm to ease an eternal pain I was carrying inside. Today, part of this pain became very accute and then became milder, when I saw threads of dark matter, appearing literally black, connecting me to those timelines of failure and broken dreams. Then I saw the faces of these beings, so full of power and promises, completely defeated, defenseless, and lost. Oh those beings…carrying broken wings.
One of them showed me a pair of fake white wings on his back. He said that this is what we usually get to see. His real wings were broken, and he eventually lost those magnificent broken limbs on his back. We humans do not have wings, so we have to create artificial means to fly. He fell down and said that he lost his value without his real wings, so now he wears fake white wings. And so did I try but mine, never got me above. I was too heavy to even fly with my attempt to carry fake wings.
The more I went deeper these weeks and put myself together even further, I recalled something a colleague told me about viruses. He said that somehow, viruses are neither alive nor death. They are like tiny zombies, carrying DNA that somehow managed to split apart from living organisms, like a form of mutation that now attacks living organisms.
It hit me hard that viruses are in essence part of us. They carry memories in their RNA about creation and evolution. They carry imprints of dark matter, and it is this dark matter what has the potential to attack people and even kill. Our DNA is damaged, that is a well recorded fact. Otherwise, our junk DNA would be fully activated. Like cancer cells, viruses are part of this entropy that can be healed within the collective of Earth.
If they are fabricated little monsters, they can still be defeated with our activated DNA. But the only way to activate it is to spend time, alone, without any distraction, overcoming the anxiety. Then, once you silence the desire to run away from this stillness, you go deeper, and feel deeper your inner voice. You start listening to the broken soul and broken heart, and start activating those pieces that got damaged during traumatic experiences, or for other artificial reasons.
The more you fill yourself with self love, the more you activate your DNA and the more you either protect yourself from the dark matter contained within viruses, or you incorporate back to yourself the RNA that might belong to you and transmute it to generate healthy cells.
Entangled we are all, in one way or another in our hearts and in our souls. Our inner world is very complex and more is the world of ideas. There are too many downsides to our new age of awakening. There is a good reason why some people say that the Age of Aquarius is the age of deception. Not all is deception of course, but information might not always be what it seems.
This year I am faced with another set of lessons, related to my personal position in this vast incomprehensible Cosmos. I retrieved very vivid memories of what felt like heavenly moments with certain individuals that I have never met, but who seemed to have been relevant to my soul journey. Other encounters were far from sweet. In many ways, what once was, is no more, but maybe at a level many of these connections will always stay in my heart and my soul. Even the conflicting ones are being transformed at the most human of levels, with love. But life on Earth sometimes demands that we move along in a very different direction to what once was a heaven of sorts, if it really was, and to leave behind all forms of ancestral hells.
So is the same for all starseeds. Every individual who explores their inner world might come across surprising facts about their origins and those they crossed paths with, for one reason or another. However, when there is an evident lack of self love, many of these intriguing facts might be magnified, distorted, and misunderstood, as if they could provide a new layer of ideas and definitions. This is a personal observation from too many explicit testimonials seen over the years in the vastness of sites and social media and some of my own detours.
We step a little further away from who we are, with each new layer of information and distortions, when we do not deal with these facts with a more objective perspective. A most typical case is a form of interaction in some other timeline with a certain famous personality. We only get to see a tip of the iceberg of who these people were or are, and what we truly are at all levels. But the idea, of maybe having been coated with the mantle of power and authority of someone else, sounds appealing to our bruised wounded self who is unacknowledged by ourselves and by others in several timelines. Evolution is, with all the honesty of my heart, brutal, with all and its natural laws and the synthetic paradigms.
The worst part might be that some of these interactions could have proven to be painful at some point, but such information is so out of reach. It is there, but our hearts and our minds are disconnected, so we prefer to stick to the eternal idea that we ourselves are that which we are not, or that we are important enough as to hold a form of power over another master being. Even worse, maybe we will spend the rest of our lives eternally worshiping the will of another and wanting to be in their image and likeness, sacrificing our own will and true joy.
If someone of authority tells you in the Now, “leave behind your ideals, and come to my temple and adore me…” very likely you will decline the offer and think to yourself that such person is nothing more than a narcissist. Yet, subconsciously, very likely we still hold on to that ancient program from a distant past, because we were like kids, and some patriarch or a matriarch told us that we had to follow their will for an eternity.
If someone tells you, “life is too crushing, so come to my temple and receive emotional and sexual healing…” very likely you will decline because you hold on to that which you love and you are not into the idea of sharing yourself to a stranger. Yet maybe, you were part of the masses who blindly believed that healing had to be this way, so you still carry attachments.
If someone tells you, “my nation must be perfected, and you are part of my nation, thus you must sacrifice yourself for it…” maybe you find the idea more appealing, or maybe not. It was not different from the past, and part of you is still looking for a home, built from an ideal of perfection.
And on and on it goes, the contamination at DNA level of what transpired in the past in the form of suppressive goals and idyllic paradigms that proved to fail many times. And the soul shards of another are still around you. So there you are, wanting to be adored by your masters, as much as you want to adore them. One thing is mutual respect, understanding and friendship. Another very different is oppressive ideals and relationships and codependency based on lack of self love.
Release your favorite masters and your tormentors with loving detachment. Release the idea of utopian realms and perfect societies. For a moment, forget that the world is shaped from the minds of the ancients and explore the jewels of your own creative potential.
Will you dare to change your programming a little further and love yourself just a little more and see yourself for your authenticity?
It is not easy, but yielding to the light of your own God-self, proves to be more appealing than any golden paradigm that might collapse, when there is a brick missing at the base of its structure.
By the end of 2018, I had a nightly visitation by two soulmates. I was fully anchored here, and wide awake. It was not possible for me to see them, but they moved my body to let me know they were there by my side and I heard them speak. The loving touch on my hands was so palpable, almost physical. I could really feel their hands touching my hands and holding me by the shoulders and arms and showing to me how they came from portals that were wide open in my room.
The love and respect that I sensed in our connection was amazing and soothing. In past lives, we had contracts that were difficult. However, I had known that they had incarnated aspects on Earth, so I was puzzled. I thought that night that maybe the information I was given about their presence on Earth physically was outdated or coming perhaps from past lives. I felt sad somehow, to know that they were fully disembodied, but at the same time I thought to myself that then maybe contact with them would be easier this way.
One of the elements of contact that stood out to me was that when I closed my eyes, I did get to see, somehow, that in their plasmatic form they could take any shape. In the case of the male, he could take the shape of a reptilian being, but also human, while in the case of the lady what I could see the most was a powerful Atlantean form.
They told me to relax and to try to fall asleep as a huge healing would take place. I got to feel immense waves of heat and tingles as if my whole lightbody was burning. The next day they were gone and I was left with some diagrams about their presence that they drew as they held my hand that night. I got a new clarity and understood that it was not wrong, my knowing that they do exist here in the Now, physically incarnated on Earth. However, it all started when I decided to use a fetish, in the form of a small stuffed dragon, as an offering to the female soulmate. She took the offering gladly, and filled it with her essence, in such a way that she opened a portal, connecting part of her essence in the fetish to much of her soul energy residing in higher realms or densities and to my lightbody.
Zero point and our multiple aspects
Have you ever watched the movie Interstellar? These kinds of experiences like the one I had that night are very similar to the hypothetical situation presented in the movie. What this nightly experience proved even further about the understanding of the great shift and reaching zero point, is that our aspects coming from other timelines and spacelines are definitely incarnating through us as we merge further with them. We give closure to the wounds of those timelines and spacelines. My two soulmates came from those densities to me, where they are still individual souls, in order for the healing to take place, and then, when they left, they reached out to their currently incarnated forms to merge in their lightbodies.
Here is exactly what we need to understand about reaching zero point both from a metaphysical and psychological combined perspective:
Zero point is the full awareness of the Now, where the past and the future do not interfere in our consciousness, except when consciously we remember the past and base our future dreams on what so far we have built in uncountable lifetimes and what we want to explore as something new. Our consciousness does not fluctuate anymore without control between subconscious memories and realities. We are fully integrated and healed and our mind is silent and fully present in the Now moment, while our intuitive side is balanced.
In every lifetime, you create a copy of yourself with certain variations in the form of a soul. Every copy of yourself undergoes a level of soul fragmentation/wounding. These soul shards affect you from lifetime to lifetime, creating the perceptions of spiraling time and linear time in physical and non-physical realms. Unconsciously, you are tapping into the experiences of your aspects or copies and you cannot ground yourself in the Now moment. You bounce back and forth from the past to the present to the potential future. Your mind races and your emotions fluctuate too much, even without physical catalysts. Or experiences trigger these aspects to influence you.
The more you merge with your past lives/potential futures or selves, the more your consciousness can become grounded in the Now and is not affected by the past wounding and separation. You have control of your mind and your heart. You embody all of your selves from all timelines and spacelines in this present moment.
Disappointment. Distraction. These two factors could block us from progressing further in our path towards finding ourselves, not just as precious jewels of Creation embodied in a human body, but as souls born directly from the essence of Source itself. You feel that there is no point anymore in thinking about having big dreams in your mind. Just think about how many things you do each day, that prevent you from spending time with yourself in silence. Yes you could say…but I have many responsibilities to attend to. So much to do in such little time. What about a few minutes before going to sleep? Or during the weekend? Are you 100% sure you do not have time?
Third key: The state of timelessness of the mind and zero point
Over the last years we have been reading and hearing that in order to ascend we need to reach zero point and step out of time. I suspect though, that so far, there has not been a clear recipe provided for such colossal mission. Do you have any idea how to step out of time?
It is not an easy task. That is for sure. Yet stepping out of time is a natural step towards becoming one with our Higher Mind and Higher Heart. We can help ourselves reach that beautiful godly state of peace and potential for the highest harmonious manifestation possibilities.
Time is not something that can be overcome just by switching from one modern calendar to an ancient one. It is a bit more complex than what we have been told. Meanwhile, we naturally approach such state of anchoring our consciousness in zero point as we become whole and we step out of suffering.
Going back to the previous parts of this essay, in summary, we must have in mind that these are the things that we need to let go:
Expectations on how things should be in our lives, in the lives of others, and the world in general, simply because we do not hold the greatest picture. Our information available is limited.
Expectations on when certain occurrences or situations should happen. This one is very much linked to the first point.
Any ideas we hold related to scarcity. If we focus for the most part in all the things that we wish we had, and all the things that we think we need but that we do not have, or the things that others should have, then we need to evaluate very deeply from where these scarcity perceptions come from in our subconscious.
Expectations on how others should behave. This one is often times a huge source of disappointment.
Our suppressed emotions.
All things that we think are threatening to us and to others. In other words, sometimes we need to surrender, and to understand that we are not always meant to fight huge fights, or even some smaller fights lead nowhere but to more cycles of suffering. Sometimes we need to let go the control, and to stop resisting the things that we perceive as dark. Fighting against what we think is dark might lead to further polarization and further disconnection from our Higher Mind and Higher Heart which perceives things as unified and who understands the greater picture.
The painful past. We cannot change the past, but we can accept what happened to us and to others. By understanding new depths of the past, we can heal what once seemed impossible to forgive.
The factors mentioned above contribute greatly in the creation of time in our consciousness. However, as we already know from the second key, these perceptions have their origin in suffering across many timelines of experience, including our current lives.
First sub key: understanding how the perception of time is created
The clock is ticking, and you feel that you might die, or maybe you are just wasting your life, or simply, you do not have enough time to do all the things that you want to do. You say that you wish that you could turn back in time to fix that problem that nags you, right?
Let us go back to the rumor-fact that when we ascend to a new density, with a new dimension of consciousness, that we will live in a state of timelessness or zero point. Before that, we simply feel that time is not enough, something is being lost…lost…lost…lost…lost.
That is how time was created in our minds, since the very first moment in some incarnation, a very long time ago, when we felt for the very first time that we lost something. Maybe even since the moment we are born, we come out of the cozy womb, and feel for the first time a certain coldness. That security we once had, is now lost. With this feeling came the first notion of time. Part of your consciousness left your being and got stuck in a lapse, when that something precious to you was lost.
So there you go, you now have an awareness from one point, to another, the point of the loss, to the point in which you live. Then, you lost more, and more, and more, and more. And now, you drive yourself nuts with all your loses at subconscious level, feeling as you vibrate higher, that you have less time to repair, what you lost. You are afraid that you will never have enough time to recover what you lost, a very long time ago. Something or someone, took that love away from your heart and your subconscious is stuck in a line of experiences or points, that you call linear time.
The more you heal then, the more you bring back your pieces, the less concerned you are about time, and you just flow with the flow. Yes the planets keep spinning, the Sun goes down, the moon goes up and so on…but you live in a less linear way, and you are more allowing, and you have more patience and you can wait for an eternity, because you are actually waiting less, and living more in the now, in the state of timelessness or zero point.
You even realize at some point, that the thing that you were waiting for, might have become somehow flawed once again if you had ventured in a humongous mission of looking for that thing that would make you happy. You had to find what was blocking you subconsciously and now that you see it with new lens, you prefer to slow down and start perceiving things differently and start doing things differently.
Remember then, always, that time begins since the first moment you feel something was lost.
Second sub key: training yourself to reach zero point
You get back home from having a stressful time with your boss or with some family member and maybe one of the first things you do is to turn on your computer or look in your phone and you start feeling bad because of the latest news on how the natural resources of Earth are being destroyed, the latest news on what some authorities did to perpetuate a war, or how there is an archon right beside you to take your potential peace away. So you rant and say to yourself that there is no hope for a better future.
You feel trapped, enslaved, imprisoned, out of place, burdened. You feel that inner child crying, because this world is not a safe place for you.
When you realize how much a great part of you cries and demands your attention, you seek the tools that you need. But often times you become distracted with what sounds promising and then you have to switch to other tools. Remember that you must listen to the depths of your broken heart. Know that you can do this, and only you can do it better for yourself than anyone else.
Disconnect now, from the outer world. Take a seat, and rest for a moment. Think for a few minutes how much time you spend thinking everyday about what burdens you. You see the minutes passing by. Think about all the things that bother you right now. The clock keeps ticking. Perhaps it is a lot? Maybe no longer as much of a burden as it was years ago? Maybe worse? Now start feeling the emotions.
Notice how many of the things that burden us and that we wish we could control and change create energy leaks in our system. Perhaps the problem even comes from giving energy to others who are not open to receiving our energy, so we leak and leak and leak.
Other times we are so blocked to receiving love that no matter how much love we are given, we simply do not feel it. We need to restructure our whole system and understand where the imbalances come from subconsciously. How can we do that then if we think that we do not have time? Maybe it is time to sacrifice some activities and the way we try to love others in our perception and start attending more to our own needs for a while.
Learn to deal the best way you can with your emotions, but never suppress them. There are uncountable treatments, like natural medicines, meditation, inner dialogue, etc. What is important is to allow yourself to feel what you must feel and that way, the less we resist our own emotions, the less they will overwhelm us over time. The more we will be able to navigate them and turn them into energy that comes back to us.
As silly as it sounds, we often forget to breathe properly. Our brains might be dying each day of suffocation without us even being aware. Breathing is not just about providing our brains with the necessary daily doses of oxygen, but also our energy flows better and we allow our missing parts to come back energetically.
Learn to control your kundalini and not the other way around. In our current society we are taught that we must overindulge in sexual practices, even spiritual ones and that we must meditate to trigger intense kundalini experiences. If we cannot control our own energy, we cannot control the rest of our system.
Sometimes, without us becoming fully aware, kundalini is triggered by fragmented parts of other souls and I doubt you would want to share your sexual energy with any entity. Energetic exchanges between you and other entities is very real, so ask your subconscious mind and your heart why you are allowing these explosions to happen without control. You will be surprised to learn about this unexplored or misunderstood area. As blissful as merging might feel, learn to respect your energetic system as much as you want your physical body to be respected and treated like a sacred tool. Do not worry too much about entities, but learn to set healthy boundaries in the energetic planes of existence and treat entities with respect and compassion, establishing if needed a healing dialogue.
Learn to clear your negative thoughts not by suppressing them but by understanding where these patterns come from. Listen to these thoughts, and if needed bring all this broken energy down to the emotional system, to the level of the heart where you can safely get in touch with the wound and see how these thoughts disappear. You can do this with positive practices like art, exercise, meditation, inner dialogue and therapy.
Learn about nature itself, we are part of it. Our broken minds and hearts are like the exacerbated forces of water, fire, earth and wind. When we learn to navigate the elements within ourselves, we learn to flow with the natural forces of the Universe.
Disconnect each day from any source of distraction that prevents you from being intimate with yourself. By intimacy it is understood that you open up your heart to your soul, you learn to listen to yourself and you learn to communicate with your soul. Only then, we can learn to have true intimacy with others. Intimacy involves facing our deepest fears and embracing every part of ourselves with love, grace and compassion. We stop avoiding our pain. We stop distracting ourselves with any addictive pattern.
Once we manage to achieve the above points each day, then we learn to control our physical bodies. Our body starts regaining its functions of self regeneration and we become energized. We become efficient in all we do and we feel less scattered. We feel more anchored and we gain a new sense of physical and spiritual security. We feel that we have finally created a true home for ourselves in our inner world and in our physical homes.
Fourth key: approaching our god-self and inner peace
The more we spend time in communion with our souls without neglecting our chosen responsibilities in life, the more we recognize and feel nurtured by our own soul vibration or energetic signature. We become more whole and feel less need to fulfill our needs and expectations from outer energetic resources, but we accept the love that we receive.
We learn to navigate the challenges that life presents to us and we accept the gifts behind these challenges. We feel less worried about what we cannot touch in the outside, yet we add magic to that which we are allowed to touch. We shine light for ourselves, and others learn to see it.
The outer chaos of this world no longer consumes us, and instead we walk among chaotic nodes of global experience left untouched. We have created our safe space in our inner world and we have created our home in a physical space.
Others see that there is this radiance in you that emanates a peaceful energy. You have arrived to a station where you have reached the peace that you longed for, but that you could not even grasp. You thought it came in other forms that you craved for. You leave behind old dreams, and create new and better ones. You manifest better outcomes, based on inner fulfillment and no longer on outer scarcity. You feel confident about who you are, and you feel strength. You enjoy your creations a little more each day and time expands in front of you. Time stretches because for you, it is now an abundant resource. One that truly never existed.
The Second Key: Letting go is the road to Inner Peace
In the previous part of this essay, the first key and the nature of dreams were expounded. As I explore the gifts of my subconscious, I share with you the next keys. What exactly do we need to let go in order to align with the highest dreams of our soul? In which ways can we make peace with the apparent failure of the previous dreams explored throughout our journey that lead in the past to suffering? Do we have to conform to achieve less than what we wanted?
You see my beloved that there is a long road to follow towards inner peace but this journey ends up being one of true empowerment and one that you will never regret.
Going back to the first diagram, the ball named “God-self” is the state of inner peace in which we can feel our true soul vibration. It is the state that is for the most part clouded by our current fluctuations, while we integrate little pieces of perhaps hundreds of aspects. When we hold a daily practice of emotional control and allowance of the integration/healing process to take place with more grace and less resistance, it is easier to reach more consciously a higher vibration. This vibration transcends the illusions of the non integrated light and the non integrated darkness.
It is in a state of emptiness where we enter inner balance and we anchor ourselves in the now moment. We allow life to happen to us and we then truly BEcome. In a state of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual balance, we affect with our stable energy our environment in ways we do not even imagine.
If you like to do art, think about this moment of communion in which you are so focused on what you do, centered in your heart, nothing disturbs this moment of inner peace. You create and you allow your intuition to guide you through the process. It is a beautiful moment of communion with your soul, with the desire to create something special, and maybe even to share it with another. Perhaps you do not even have a very clear idea of what you will create, you just do it. Or you have an idea but throughout the process you allow for the creation to be birthed from your deepest desire.
In order to let go, first you must align yourself with your inner light and your inner darkness. You evaluate so far what you have manifested, and what you currently perceive as lack. You must ask both sides of yourself why, perhaps, when you manifested a dream in the past it was not your perfect dream, your ideal scenario, one that was in your mind flawless or simply beautiful enough to fulfill you.
In which areas was your manifested dream far from perfect? Where there energetic leaks in your system that left you drained, unfulfilled, unhappy in some other way? Why, if so far you have put so much effort in this dream, is it not yet what you crave or is it draining you? Even worse, why what you have expected all your life is not there yet within your reach? Does your dream involve the active presence of other souls?
If your dream is related to a personal project, like for example a house, a job, a career, a business, maybe the tools are easier to reach than if these dreams involve the presence of other souls.
What is complicated about manifesting dreams when it involves your relationship to other individuals, is the fact that you expect these people to align their will to your own will. Very likely there are imbalances within you or/and them which prevents the energy between each other to flow. This also applies to collectives, for example a whole nation and its leaders. Those leaders can be present physically as role models or authorities, or perhaps even spiritual leaders or guides that have not yet manifested physically in your life.
At this point, it is clear that something has not been working and maybe it is not even related to your outer circumstances, or your resources, or other people, but there is something within yourself that is simply not flowing like a river of energetic potential blocked by rocks, thus preventing material reality from morphing.
It is then, when if we ask our heart, our soul, our Higher Self, and Source to guide us to understand what is not working, a process of more conscious exploration begins that allows us to get in touch more deeply with our subconscious.
One by one, we can then start making peace with those blocks, letting them go, and allowing space for inner peace to be born within us. Only then, in this void, can we tap into the true potential of our soul as a whole and we align our will to the will of Creation.
First sub key: dealing consciously with the wounds
Often times we hear that we are the ones creating our reality. But sometimes we might miss some fine details about such process. We carry within our subconscious, and around us, the ghosts of the past. No matter how much we desire to manifest a more positive reality for ourselves and for others, we come across uncountable death ends, or we end up feeling that we need to conform to something lesser than what we originally had in mind.
Ask yourself these questions:
From 2012 to this day, how much have your dreams, hopes and desires changed?
Do you feel disappointed about the way in which so far you have progressed in your spiritual development and your life in general?
Are you disappointed of your outer circumstances and the world in general?
Do you feel more empowered in some ways compared to how you felt a year ago, or many years ago?
Perhaps many times you reach the point in which you know that you have done a lot of inner work over the course of years. However, there is always something in your way that makes you feel that you are fighting. Perhaps the social, political and economic scenarios seem to be grim from some angles, or maybe the situation with your family is messy at the moment. Perhaps your job is not exactly what you wanted to accomplish in your professional life. There is always a challenge to face as we progress.
In many cases, it is very clear that when we make a list of the things that do not feel right about this physical reality, we can see that many of these situations are apparently out of our control. Actually, if we think about how others behave, there is very little we can do to control or change the situations.
Then, you start seeing how control, and the idea on how things should be or how others should act are the first things that you must let go, in one way or another. Easier said than done and very likely you have heard this before, elsewhere.
You can read all over again how we have to deal with our inner wounds and how we must let go control and any rigid ideas. But there is no way this process can take place if there are unexplored corners within our psyche, those sides of us that need the love of our heart, and that we decided to forget, because it was all too painful to face.
There are strong sides of us that might feel that other sides of us are too vulnerable. At a level we feel that our vulnerable sides can interfere in our life in many ways, so it is best not to face them. Often times, it is the abused sides of our soul what might makes us feel that we failed to stand up for ourselves, when we needed to be strong and wiser in our processes of decision making. We might then develop a stronger side, one that at times might be aggressive or that tries to avoid situations.
We might have achieved a level of spiritual maturity (our side of non integrated light) and try to convince ourselves that at soul level we chose our experiences. That we have infinite power to manifest. That we are sovereign individuals and that we do not need an outer force to act as an authority above us in detriment of our progress.
What we do not know is that sometimes we carry aspects within our subconscious and soul that act against our conscious will to manifest a higher path. This is true, especially if it involves the presence of other souls, which could also include a specific location. These parts of us that are denied by our conscious mind know something about these dreams that we are not aware of. As a consequence, they simply do not want for these dreams to become manifested in such a way that brings joy to ourselves and to others.
How is this possible? Why would a part of our soul want to act against an apparently positive intention?
The simple answer is that these aspects reside in a dimension of denial, in one way or another. It is not uncommon to feel that we have left behind much pain, and that we can even hardly remember certain painful stages of our lives, especially childhood and other earlier stages. We cannot blame ourselves for keeping these aspects in the lower realms of trauma. It is simply not an easy task to align them with our heart and to heal them. Healing them involves facing their pain in one way or another, and sometimes it really does not have to be that painful to make peace with our suffering.
For example, think about times in which we faced any forms of abuse during childhood, or even in other timelines in which our hearts were open and vulnerable and we faced deep traumas without little awareness of the nature of our soul. How do you explain to a child that there is a purpose in everything and that we are made of pure spiritual essence at a higher level?
A child is vulnerable and dependent of their families, teachers, and other soul companions and often times has partial or absolutely no awareness of a higher spiritual purpose and soul path. Therefore, if a child has been severely imprinted with deep traumatic experiences, this part of us has become disconnected from the new spiritual mature adult.
This child that is disconnected from our conscious mind, resides in lower realms of ether. They are wandering like a ghost, observing how life happens to us, and touching us in such a way that affects our daily experiences and perceptions. Perhaps the child comes in the form of a traumatized teenager. Or a martyr coming from another timeline. Or simply, the child that you were in your current incarnation.
You are in the process of manifesting a dream with enthusiasm, and maybe at first things are going well, until you start facing those patterns. You come across people who are not in alignment with your intention, or the dream collapses for other reasons. You leave behind a trail of disappointment along the way. Even worse, that which you wait for is not coming to meet you, yet.
You do not understand why the world is as it is, why there is so much unfairness and why as a collective we do not seem to progress yet towards that reality where there is peace and a more genuine sense of connection among people. The repulsive forces within ourselves and the world in general continue to bring chaos into our lives.
Even in Kabbalah, the concept of Satan is one in which the Universal force of repulsion and absorption acts against the light side of Creation that unites and gives love. It absorbs without having the capacity to love The denied side of us, far from attracting the big dream, uses its repulsive force to avoid more pain, ironically causing in us deep disappointment.
It is then, when you can start working more consciously with the part of us that resides in the lower realms through any means that you can find. You ask for assistance and somehow, you will receive the guidance needed to align yourself to the will of your higher mind.
I have faced in my own life the disappointment of asking many times for assistance to deal with the part of myself that has been denied, only to come across some strange circumstances in which I was given many times things that I perceived as things that I did not need. I was blocking myself from seeing love been given to me in lots of ways. It had been in my life a repeating pattern, and a sense of being upset would grow over time.
Second sub key to letting go the pain: only you can fully know what you need
From this difficult experience came the notion that not only was I always been given the necessary assistance in spirit form each time I asked and could not find the most suitable tools in physical. Also, I was lead to understand that in this world, absolutely no one will ever know more what are our own needs than ourselves. No one will help us more to reach a state of balance and inner peace than ourselves. We can come across lots of tools, in one way or another, that help us greatly. Even so, it is our task to be the ones to rescue those parts of ourselves that have been forgotten and denied, by others and by ourselves.
You might be able to connect this sub key to the sober experience of not having the leaders or authorities that we wish in our hearts that we could see in our physical reality. If we cannot know in full depth what the needs of our subconscious world are, then how can we expect that the world can have honest leaders that can provide to us what we need? The perfect partner? The perfect family? Perfect friends? Perfect students or teachers? Perfect jobs? Etc.?
How can we know then how much we have suppressed and denied and how much we need to provide to ourselves?
By asking our subconscious. By getting in touch with our own darkness. By truly disconnecting ourselves for at least a moment each day, from the rivers of information and stimuli we expose ourselves to, and ponder about those difficult stages in our lives that we rather forget, and ask the individual that we were in such times, the simple questions:
How do you feel?
What can I do for you?
What is it that you want to tell me?
What can you offer to me and what can you offer to me?
Sometimes, only by listening to these parts of us, the pain starts dissolving. Sometimes we might find ourselves crying lots of things we could not face before. And then, the miracle of seeing our world turning upside down and seeing our beliefs fall apart happen.
It might be a very uncomfortable process but at the same time, you feel how the power of your soul starts flowing. It is worth it.
Third sub key to letting go the pain: redefining our own value and what we deserve in life
When you have seeing more clearly what exactly are your needs as a human being and when you see in which miraculous ways you can truly provide for yourself the first resources that you need, by claiming back the parts of you that are denied, then you can take the next steps.
The next steps involve to think very deeply and often in which ways do you feel that others have defined your value and sense of self worth as a human being. These people include your parents, your siblings, your friends, your colleagues, your partner or ex partners, and many others.
You can then see how much you value yourself or what exactly is for you the concept of value according to your experiences and perceptions. Perhaps you find yourself thinking that you deserve better than what you have or what you have gone through, but you still find yourself going through tough experiences. Others who find themselves and the world less valuable make you feel uncomfortable, even if you know they have their own patterns and issues.
Based on the previous notion of value comes the notion of deserving. What do you think and what do you feel do you deserve in life? Are you sure that you deserve only the best? What if those parts of you that reside in lower realms think otherwise? Perhaps part of you feels guilty for previous decisions? Perhaps others made you feel over time that you do not deserve?
These are important questions that one needs to ask oneself often.
The more we get in touch with the non integrated part of our soul that has been traumatized over time, we will start feeling that we are providing ourselves with the first and most important need. That need is to listen to our shadow self or aspects that exist in the lower dimensions of consciousness. By establishing an inner dialogue with our soul we can face these deep wounds in several timelines and we can then start creating a safe haven for ourselves in this constant inner dialogue.
If we cannot get to know ourselves and remember those times when we suffered greatly, such as the moments during childhood when our family could not give to us the confidence that we need, then the world will seem to be a dangerous place that is not safe for us or for others. It is true that bad things happen to lots of individuals and groups each day, but we must remember that very likely we cannot control those situations.
Before anything else we need to feed ourselves with the love of our heart and our soul to make space for the denied aspects of the psyche to come forth and feel that we are finally safe. We can let them know that we have unmeasurable value, and that we really do deserve the best. Maybe you think that others have value and that they deserve the best, but it is up to them to do their part and see this for themselves.
We cannot judge others fully for their actions more than we can judge ourselves. It is an act of humbleness to say to ourselves and to others that we no longer can say who should exist and who should not (think about how many people desire for the elitist groups to disappear from Earth without understanding their real purpose and their value as souls).
Over time, you can then establish a solid foundation in love with yourself, with your soul, with your heart and you can become confident seeing that all your efforts are worthwhile. You can feel that you value yourself enough to deserve better as you progress in life.
Only then, you can start attracting better situations and better resources, while you let go pain, old ideas, old expectations, old hopes, and you redefine your dreams and your desires. You desire less things that you previously desired based on the perceptions of scarcity. Your dreams are more genuine and aligned with the will of your soul and the will of other souls and Universal consciousness.
Peace starts to flood your being a little more each day. You have established an inner sense of confidence. You are safe, and you are loved by the brightness of your soul. You find more peace in the Now moment, and you worry less about that which you cannot change. You know that change is the only true constant.
“For those who seek peace in times of unprecedented destruction and transformation.”
By the end of 2015, I decided to let go and let God. When the apparent decisions of the light in my life were coming to fruition, the poison of darkness came as an echo of ancient trauma, thus bringing conflict to my consciousness.
To serve the light invites darkness to come from the most unexpected places. The war of ages begins in each corner of the planet and in the dusty figments of lost knowledge within the configuration of the human mind. I decide to leave once again, and enter introspection. It is time to face an ancient bomb of my own creation that travels within the fluid realms of astral and etheric layers.
Locked in my quarantined space I ponder on the ancient knowledge of the Buddha, the avatar state of emptiness and eternal peace. From such ancient knowledge, I am being shown something that I had not felt or seen before.
Aspects of some beloved soul connections greet me in the spirit realms and excitement floods my being. One of my companions stare at me and then these cryptic words she pronounces:
“Distortions you hold in your mind of my nature dearest sister. Stop your outbursts of love and lower your vibration so that you are able to meet me in a state of more balance, only then can you see more of who I am.”
I breathe slowly, stop the flow of love from my heart and stare into her piercing eyes, feeling then the fear and the pain in our karmic contract. Somewhere in this world she lives in a physical body. Most of her soul essence travels within the realms of light and dark in what we know as the astral/etheric world.
I feel the fear but slowly within my being a power is being reborn, slowly, very slowly, almost unnoticeable. As days pass, I am guided in what sometimes felt for days like a military and Asian training of sorts, based on the ancient knowledge of the Buddha and other Oriental practices.
“Soon must you let us go my dearest sister, thou shall no longer seek us, for only when you transcend all desires, will we appear in your physical reality. Many are we, yet vibration of the individual expression of the One is what you seek, your own soul vibration.”
To let go was more reasonable those days, sometimes reaching an overindulgence of it and its consequential peace, as opposed to other days of painful dreams. For you see, some keys have been shared with me, of the true meaning of letting go. Before I share them with you, dear beloved, dear brother, dear sister here is what I saw, unexpectedly one night:
After restless nights of incomprehensible energetic explosions in all bodies of the being, the greatest truth was revealed. How was this gift granted? After days of fasting of dreams, desires, longings, light explosions of the thirsty heart, and other glitches, moments of inner peace came.
Inner peace would then lead to another octave of being, integration and energetic fatigue, in the hyper mind trapped in a hyper body.
Magnificent came the feeling and the vision, of the greatest dream ever dreamt, but hardly understood at first sight and first touch of the soul. There were we, up above in some perception of a sky of golden hue with clouds of gold, many of us, holding hands with each other, inviting me to come and bathe in eternal balance and peace. There, in the circle of beloveds, I was sharing the metaphysical flow of the heart and the hands, with serious yet peaceful countenance. As my consciousness entered the holographic projection of my soul, what I felt can hardly in words be described.
I felt a power beyond words in full individual brilliance and expression, powerful beyond constraints and elegantly dark. There I stood, calm and in love, feeling first the flow of the hand of one of my beloveds and then of the others. What came next is the even hardest part to describe at first sight and touch.
The vibration of us all feels dark, tremendously high vibrationally dark, with a purity of wisdom and purity of heart, yet dark. Dark? How come this darkness that I feel is so full of peace and infinite love? I no longer feel the feeling of blissful merging of a kind of light that we have known for too long. This a different feeling of pure individual freedom, no merging of minds or hearts in a single vibration as if we are one energy but instead something higher and better. Perfectly suitable for individual expression of the soul but in communion with other souls.
My own vibration is strong, serene, yet powerful, wise and loving beyond words. So is the soul vibration of my beloveds. Their energies feel like the love of Cosmos itself. Yet each has its own taste, so beautifully strong and spicy with power beyond what we consciously have known.
Perhaps the idea of a taste is not adequate and the term “dark” in itself is not accurate either because of the idea that we have about darkness. Is is not evil at all or negative. On the contrary, it is the energy of void but expressed individually. It is the pure integration of light and dark that creates something more magnificent.
In such perfect balance I was shown how just with the stare, or the holding of hands, or with the intention of the heart, subtle, yet powerful flows of energies travel from being to being, from heart to heart, from hand to hand, which reminds me of the bonding of molecules.
Each atom keeps its own essence, its nucleus, yet it is in the sharing of electrons that the atoms sum up to create molecules and a greater force. Such is the flow of love and life force from being to being. The energy is shared from one heart to another and goes back and forth, returning to its owner and going to the other again and again and again but never losing individual power and expression or vibration. We do not merge as One. We remain individuals sharing One Love.
For days I ponder on this kind of vibration that feels better than the light that I know, the light that unifies in dimensions in one single apparent explosion of bliss, the one that we are being taught about sometimes. The one that feels like some sort of sexual passion of chakra merging, the kundalini merging that people crave and experience often in certain layers of astral/ethers and that feels like a complete dissolution into Source, where individual identity no longer exists.
This dark vibration is then not negative; it is the pure essence of the soul. It is not the darkness of the darkworker who hates and seeks separation and destruction, out of the deepest feelings of rejection and lack of acknowledgement and respect. Not the kind of darkness that, in such state of lack of love seeks to accumulate material wealth and dominates and seeks to control.
Instead, this is a beautiful elegant high-vibrational void energy that actually emits a certain new kind of light at will in perfect balance. I go insane, to taste my own soul vibration once again, and that of my beloveds.
So are then the words of my beloveds in their true soul vibration expression:
“Seek not at this time your true soul vibration or your true power, seek not to reach this state as long as attachments you hold towards us your beloveds. Your desire is not pure and as such the farther you are from thyself. Seek thyself first in synchronicity with timelessness, and seek us not. Let your soul vibration come back to you. Love will find its way to you.”
Pondering further on this state of new integrated darkness with light, an image I see, as memories of ancient pasts come forth to reveal the truth of desires. Journeys of time travel each night and each day reveal one by one the nature of dreams, for dreams in astral layers are often forged through timelines of suffering and pain.
For many months, I had been seeing lots of positive futures with those beloveds in my inner perception. There was a limited awareness that those positive futures were in some way a desire and a dream to correct or give a positive closure to ancient timelines of pain, of suffering, of what in human terms we perceive as mistakes.
Is this not then, the calling of the Buddha, to watch out for our wildest dreams, longings and desires? Is this not then the space and the time in the mind where suffering and pain is born and then the decay of body manifests? Is this not then how reincarnation and karma are related to each other?
A whole year passed since that strange experience of feeling the nature of my own individual soul vibration, and the soul of some of my loved ones. My mind continued generating dreams, desires and hopes for some possible near future. Such visions were based on previously lived experiences in other timelines with my loved ones.
As time passed, I could really see that there was something else behind these dreams, that lead to a certain waiting. It was a very uncomfortable process. These images and feelings flashing all the time were preventing me from seeing other essential aspects of life in the now moment. I could see how much I still needed to do to align myself more with the true will of my own soul.
From that point in time when I got to see that vision and feel that vibration within my soul, to this point by the end of 2016, a lot changed in my perception. I had to go through a very intense process of letting go, so much, in order to see how far is the path in life to reach that vision. More than ever, it feels as far away as it can be, but the difference now is that other individual goals have been accomplished. So much healing has taken place to understand other painful scenes behind those old dreams. I swim deeper and deeper into the subterranean cave of uncertainty, and surrender to it, as uncomfortable as it feels.
How exactly can you remove those hidden attachments that hold you back? If they go about unnoticed many times during the course of your life, is it unavoidable to keep them for perhaps another eternity?
Not really. There is always a solution at hand, and this one is simpler than you think, yet not always easy to attain. It is in the knowing of your own resonance, the vibration of your soul, that you get to know yourself at the deepest level. You often hear that you must know yourself, and you might think that it might just be about your thoughts, your feelings, your ideals, your appearance. There is this little thing that makes up your soul that maybe you have not even known so well in life. It is the arrangement of your own energy, and your own imprinted experiences.
The soul vibration is constituted by your personality, your aspects, that specific tone, song, or however you want to call it, that distinguishes you from the rest of Cosmic manifestation. You do not have to be one with everything and everyone. You do not have to deny your individuality, only because the collective of old masters and masses have told you to do so. Neither do you have to suppress or deny your shadowy aspects.
The little secret is to accept that shadow, that you have been taught to despise. He or she is not your enemy, but simply a mirror image of yourself that got a bit lost along the way, when others dictated what it had to be or what it was not meant to be. If others would not bother accepting those parts of yourself, and the robotic society we sometimes seem to be heading to tells you to act like everyone else, then why not retreat from that noise and ask yourself what parts are missing in your DNA coding?
Who or what is overshadowing those unheard parts of your Self? Was it an ancient master who dictated the rules for a while? Or maybe an ancient promise of saving from certain difficulties of evolution itself?
Did you hear their voices and their opinions a little too much as to forget what was that you really needed? Did you feel fragile enough as to let that little part of yourself be known and felt to yourself and to others?
Perhaps it was in that vulnerability that a long time ago you decided that it was cool to follow the steps of another, whether they had it all right or they really messed up with the collective big time, for their own reasons and by the means of their own fragilities.
It was then that you decided to suppress a part of your soul and substitute it for the part of another, dear one. And so now, maybe you admire the ideal of that master a little too much, or you feel that a certain abominable being is grabbing you by the shoulders and suffocating part of your light.
If you think about it for a moment, with a little logic (yes please forget for a moment that excessive visceral intuition that you are often encouraged to follow) and think deeper how, in a world of billions, chances are that the soul vibration of another can only occupy a single body that matches to their perfection their specific symmetrical DNA coding. It is then not yours to take and neither is their spirit meant to take that which is yours.
In a world of billions, if so much of the soul essence of a master being is out there, jumping, from body to body, then chances are, they would not even remember themselves all that well, as to claim their throne. Even worse is the fact that maybe you carry a soul shard of themselves, not allowing you to feel your own song.
Your soul vibration is fundamental to understand who you are. It can only be felt and tasted, once you leave behind too much of the collective noise and its successful or failing stories. Meditate, and ask your own light to guide you to the feeling of your uniqueness. It has a specific feeling to it, and it has a spectrum of light and darkness, always keeping the same tone. The only variation is how your own vibration is expressed, in light and dark ways, but they are all yours, and for you to take, to complete yourself a little more and reach that joy and peace you cannot have, if you hold on to the long forgotten past, when the norms of others ruled out the individual expressions of those who were learning, or felt vulnerable, or followed the causes of another.
Reach out, to yourself, hold yourself tight and never let yourself go again. Thank your masters, your angels, your favorite teachers, your enemies, the controllers, and tell them you just want to be a little more whole within yourself, that you are ready now. Do so with gentleness and loving detachment. Now bring back to yourself what is yours.
When the first image of the black hole located in Sagittarius A was released, I felt blocked to feel the joy of this accomplishment. Black holes have always fascinated me for several reasons. I am a woman of science, more than anything else, and in science I find my inner peace and my purpose in life.
I would highly recommend the movie “Interstellar” to anyone who is fond of metaphysics and physics. There is much truth in the hypothetical scenarios presented in this beautiful long film. Subconsciously, it always triggered something very deep within my soul and tears would always follow after certain scenes, especially the scene where the main character falls inside a black hole and becomes a teseract.
Today has been a particularly challenging day for my heart. Spiritually, I have found myself in a space of a deep loneliness, that could have been filled by any distraction in the past, like most people do. But I find myself in a space of restrictions, imposed by my own soul, or so it seems.
However, during a moment of meditation, I was forced to see a deep layer of darkness inside my soul, coming from the crude reality of ancestral times in past lives. The moments when the souls of women got shattered at their very worst. Women became what originally they were not.
I felt the presence of Diana Lucifera, mystical forgotten woman, often confused for Diana Artemisa. However, both goddesses are not the same, they are not even aspects of the same soul. Diana, is not Lilith either, in fact, Diana is much wiser and much more ancestral than Lilith. Lilith is a woman I respect and love very much for multiple reasons, but when I contrast her with Diana Lucifera, she is definitely younger in many ways.
However, not many seem to be able to endure her presence, which would explain why she is so forgotten, unlike figures like Lilith, or Isis, or Inanna, or, Hecate or the Marys. In the measure that you would get the highest levels of compassion and wisdom from Diana Lucifera, she would mirror the deepest darkest corners of the soul and of Cosmos itself.
I felt the most destructive side of my soul, in many human and non-human forms and the most raw feelings of abandonment and rejection that a woman can experience. Then, I spoke to Diana and told her that I did not want to feel like this anymore.
She told me that she was there to listen to me and to embrace me with her love. That I would understand her, and see in her chaos the chaos of Cosmos itself. I saw her storm and her storm was also my own storm. She told me to cry out all of my pain and remember her pain. I cried with her heart and with my heart, the pain of ages, of separation, not only from the Divine Masculine, but from ourselves as Divine Women.
Then came to me, once again, the news about the first image of the black hole, and I told her that for some reason I did not like the image of the black hole.
In her own words she said to me that the black hole looks exactly like how our shattered hearts look like. Our heart is like a black hole, the chakra that needs to feed itself with soul energies and love of our own Self, and that the light around it is the light that spins around it. It made sense. As I stared in my mind into the saved image of the black hole, I felt the deep loneliness, and I wept so smoothly and profoundly, and felt my heart like the black hole.
Another thing that stood out to me was the information in the following post:
“JUPITER the planet of expansion and higher learning is conjunct to the Galactic Center today and turning Retrograde meaning its at its most powerful degree today. Mercury the planet of communications is exactly square to the GC at 27 PISCES. You can’t make this stuff up folks. The moon is in curious communications sign of GEMINI opposite to Jupiter and the GC and conjunct to JUNO the 8 armed Feminine Form of Genius. They don’t call it the Galactic Center for nothing.
M-87 Chiron the Wounded Healer at 2 ARIES is directly opposite this Super Galactic Center with Asteroid Vesta at 3 degrees. Aries is a new beginning which may indicate further investments into going deeper into the Black Hole or “wound” uncovered in this event.
LILITH sextiles The Galactic Center and Jupiter from 27 Aquarius and Jupiter and Lilith both form a Finger of God to the North Node in Cancer. This symbolizes going home to the Mother. “
Naturally the part about the “wound” uncovered struck me the most and is consistent with my healing journey accompanied by the spirit of Diana Lucifera, my eternal friend.
I will continue meditating on the nature of black holes, and the new images. It looks scary in a way, because of what it reminds me of. The ancestral need to understand even further our Cosmic evolution and history, with new eyes of compassion, and not with perpetual ideals of separation and conflict.
“Sometimes my eyes appear of different color when I take pictures of myself. It happens randomly. Even when I was a teenager people would tell me that I had very beautiful eyes, of a color that is not my natural color, and they were convinced of what they saw.”
That is what an old acquaintance said to me, at the time we interacted online. The inner pressure within me and within her escalated, and we both could not handle the rage anymore. We were both puzzled, confused and wondering if we had been part of a personal unfinished ancient battle in past lives. Some time after, I stopped hearing from her, and finally, the betrayal happened. As I scrolled down to a site, I was frozen and shocked to see what this lady had done. Oddly enough, I was guided to that site by a series of incidents, as if I was meant to find out about the betrayal.
I had a very strong impression that this woman had been a black magician, and a very powerful angelic being with a golden aura. I was too young back then, in my early 20’s, so I felt that this was a very bad karmic joke that I could not cope with too well. The strength, inherent power and twisted wisdom that I felt from this lady made me feel shrunk, like I was no match to her in any way. I felt crushed to pieces. That was but a story of many that I had to deal with several times, and indirectly witnessing some massive grotesque cases.
The bitter taste of defeat faded away, but something told me that I had not dealt with the core wound of the betrayal, no matter how much soul retrieval I attempted. Almost a decade later a revelation of sorts would finally put an end to a severe crucible.
One night, without warning, I thought about this lady, and how she had gone through a radical transformation in her life at all levels. At the time I met her, she was only getting started with such intense transformation. I found in very old files some pictures she showed to me of an earlier stage in her life. The eye color was definitely different, the hair style, the clothes, the activities in which she was involved, everything about her was totally different, and dark. In more recent pictures, her energy had changed to portray a much more fragile and innocent woman. Her appearance was very different, and her natural eye color did show up. The energy…in both sets of pictures, that was a huge clue. The soul vibration did not match!
As I felt the energy and the trauma, I was visited by a very imposing female. Tremendous aura full of power and authority, and a very familiar soul vibration. I could see her with acute clarity in my inner vision, a lady with golden hair and clear blue eyes. A flair of Paganic wisdom, and much more emanated from her. I heard her speaking clearly and she explained that, back then, at the time of the betrayal, it was in reality her, the one who had taken over part of the consciousness of the lady I met ten years ago. For personal reasons that were not revealed to me, the lady in physical in her fragmented state had embodied for a very long time part of the energy of this powerful presence. As for myself, I got a clearer image of a huge squabble between her, another lady and myself, and probably some other ladies in Ancient Egypt. The squabble happened for too many reasons, and this conflict extended to several lifetimes.
Since there was no way for me to meet this lady physically, we had an agreement that, while part of her would work with the other lady taken over, at the time of our meeting the deep wound would be opened and partly reproduced. Ironically, in her fully manifested spiritual form, the powerful lady was very sweet and wise, and treated me with delicacy. I could not avoid but feeling, at a level, a loving connection.
Is there a rationale in such horrific case of possession? Whether it was the best way for some karmic contracts to be played out and released, I cannot really tell, but I can tell the reasons why this phenomenon can happen to anyone, and why it is more frequent among certain groups of people, than what most are aware of.
As a child, perhaps you tried to create a drawing to impress your parents. Then, you faced a certain form of neglectfulness. You saw your parents being distracted enough with all kinds of responsibilities you would not understand as to pay attention to your newly created masterpiece.
A little older you became, and tried to earn the respect of your favorite teacher, only to find out that perhaps you did not excel in math class. Or your classmates not always felt sympathy for you. You began learning your first steps on how to cope with a world that is not always loving, or understanding of the needs of a child. Very likely you grew up telling to yourself that none of those things mattered that much, that you had to be strong and competitive.
As an adult, you stumbled upon the difficult boss who always complains about “something”. That “something” pertained your performance. You knew somehow you were doing your best effort, and it might not have been acknowledged.
So has been life on Earth for too long. Deep within your subconsciousness you were taught that, in one way or another, you were not good enough for those who surrounded you, and eventually not even for yourself.
Finally, you reached the point in which you embraced the new age spiritual doctrines. What you found in them was that such part of your programming, the part in which you are told that you are not good enough, was reinforced. You were told that your ego is your worst enemy, your bad company, like your guardian devil.
Oh, that damn ego, that gets in your way, that tries to express something that feels negative. So you must encase it, tell it to shut up, to stop getting in the way of your ambitions. You must, at all costs, tell it to stop complaining when you feel discomfort, if someone acts in some way around you, or other situations.
The Road Less Taken
If you shrink your ego, you will reach enlightenment. For enlightenment leads to the feeling of ultimate Oneness. With Oneness, you will never ever feel alone again and you will feel like you found Home in a wave of vast bliss. You will no longer have to deal with a difficult ego, that demands something. Ego is a very bad thing, it is a very evil kid inside of you, or a monster. Or so you were told.
However, if you go very deep within you, and spend time with your ego, you might find that there is a gift that you have not heard too often about in your current spiritual doctrines. The gift is a new understanding of being authentic, of becoming whole within yourself and mostly, something that is rarely taught in the current spiritual movements: self compassion.
Without self compassion, no compassion for others can be born.
Self compassion is a higher expression of self love. Self love is a journey, a long one that requires the values that we all would love to strive for in our lives to be applied to ourselves with gentleness. Patience is one of them. Think about, for a moment, how many times others were not patient towards you. How many times your own relatives have not been patient towards you.
It is in that lack of patience that the feeling of not being worthy is born. Lack of patience might be seen in the parent, partner, friend or colleague who is always upset or busy, who spends too much time using a technological gadget, or the one who is tired and swamped with homely responsibilities. Other times lack of patience is expressed as aggression.
Egohood as Human Individuality and Oneness as Temporary Relief
It is fundamental to understand that egohood, in a more formal definition, is not the exclusive traits of the individual personality that are perceived as negative, in one way or another. Egohood can be defined to incorporate the capacities and traits that make up the individual personality as a whole, including the ones perceived as positive. You can read wider definitions in the articles: The Concepts and Functions of Egohood and The Consensus Between the Higher Self and the Shadow Self.
“The soul is made up of a mix of often unseen particles. These particles include antimatter and dark matter, which can be dissected to see emanations of photons, electrons and protons and other subatomic particles. Dark matter is the gel-like substance that has not yet been imprinted with soul memories because there have been no physical experiences. Antimatter, on the other hand, is the soul substance that has already been imprinted with experiences in physical. When you are born, you carry a piece of soul of previous incarnations and as you experience life in physical, your soul substance grows with imprinted information. Your aura expands. You can even bring from other lifetimes more soul substance already imprinted.
Your creators in physical are your parents or in bizarre cases those who have played with your DNA through genetic manipulation, while you are the creator of your own soul through your own experiences. As such, you are not only your own creator but also you are a whole individual.“
You can see then why, not only is egohood of utmost importance to the growth of the human being in the material world, but also for the imprinting of the soul as an individual entity or being without a physical body.
As we grow up, we are taught to fill our minds and our hearts with self judgement. Self judgement comes as the expression of internal negative self talk and feelings of guilt, shame, being inadequate and not being acknowledged for our uniqueness.
The fractured parts of our soul that have left our energetic field during traumatic life situations, and negative imprinting since childhood, create a sense of lack of inner wholeness. Specifically, lack of feeling of being at home, of being alienated from the rest of society, and not fitting anywhere are the consequences of soul fragmentation.
These traumatic situations are then replicated indefinitely over countless incarnations. At the moment of our passing from this material world to the non-material realities, the larger portion of our souls travel through multiple densities. Finally, a large portion of it reaches the highest lightest density in which the totality of the energy of the collective of Earth (and the collective of other spaces in Cosmos) resides in a completely enmeshed form.
In this enmeshed form there is absolutely no sense of individual identity. All the soul particles vibrate at a very high frequency were only states of bliss or peace are perceived. In the highest state of peace there is a complete sense of nothingness.
Meanwhile, in the lower realms or lower octaves of non-phisical densities, the soul fragments of each individual soul reside. These are the layers that people perceive as the levels of hell or suffering.
These parts of the individual soul remain stuck indefinitely in these realms of trauma, unless these parts manage to ascend to the protective higher realms. In these states of consciousness the imprints of trauma become inactive and only feelings of wellness in any form are perceived. Then, if these same fragmented parts, for any reason, lower their frequency, the imprints of trauma reactivate.
During our interaction with physical reality, we can tap into the knowledge and state of consciousness of our non-incarnated aspects and fragments. In meditation, we become aware of the highest most merged levels of consciousness that people have often described as “enlightenment”. We retrieve some of that energy and the memory of the experience stays with us. We remove from the massive cloud of enmeshment that part that belongs to us and we become more whole, with a new understanding of existence.
In order to achieve wholeness and the feeling of having found Home, the individual must retrieve all the soul energy from all dimensions, densities and octaves.
However, in many of the current spiritual teachings, along with our programming, we tend to avoid the pain of the parts of us that reside in the lower realms of trauma. We’d rather stick to those experiences that feel good, even blissful. We do not allow full mergings with as many parts of our soul as possible to integrate and heal within us in our current incarnation. As these parts continue staying in lower realms, then they continue bringing our attention in uncomfortable ways in each incarnation and we are unable to release fully our karmic ties to difficult situations. As consequence, we cannot free ourselves and others from the karmic wheel and we are not able to achieve wholeness and self acceptance of our humanity and our soul.
Sometimes, tapping into higher levels of consciousness not only brings the altered states that are often described by many as “enlightening”. Also, parts of us stuck in lower realms are forced to become integrated. This is not always the case, but at least partially, it is a natural process. Hence, the typical “ascension symptoms” and continuous mental, emotional and physical roller- coasters.
Over time, the more we accept all parts of ourselves, including the ones that make up what people call “ego”, we allow ourselves to experience a smoother transition to a more dignifying life in physical. Our home becomes our inner sanctuary and we attract more loving situations.
The more we retrieve our energies from the massive collective consciousness in higher realms and the more we embrace the difficult parts of us that suffer and need our love and acceptance, the more we can feel and express inner bliss in physical. There is less need to tap into temporary enlightening experiences. Tapping into such temporary bliss in which we feed ourselves with the energies of the collective at that level, only leave us wondering why, after feeling the Oneness, we end up feeling again incomplete, alone and alienated.
It is not always the massive enmeshment with the collective what we seek, even less to subjugate our individuality and personal will to become “egoless”. Instead, our soul as a whole craves our self acceptance as loving authentic balanced individuals. Once we achieve that inner wholeness with all parts of ourselves, in all timelines and spacelines, in all incarnations in the now moment, we become love and bliss itself in a physical body that radiates light by itself. Far from becoming egoless, we evolve into a state of healthy individual egohood, connected by loving threads of light to the hearts of other individuals and Earth itself. We know that we belong everywhere, any time and we feel it from inside.